Simplifying my life.

I choose to make my life simpler. And I work to achieve that by minimising what I have – be it in terms of material things around the house, to the commitments or projects I undertake, or even to the social circle I keep.

My guiding principle to the process of minimising what I have is the simple question of asking myself “What adds value to my life?” That itself is sufficient for me to determine what items to keep and what items to throw/donate. I have learnt how to detach myself from material things through the constant reminder that when I die, none of these things will follow me to my grave. That feeling of not being attached to worldly things is so liberating and it gives me a sense of serenity within me. This is also why I no longer keep mementos. Mementos tend to make me relive the past and I do not want to be caught up wishing to go back to the past – no matter how good the memory is, especially how good the memory is – because I want to focus on living and enjoying today.

With respect to commitments and projects, I have learnt how to say “No” without feeling guilty for doing so. I believe in the importance of doing less but making sure that whatever little I’m doing has the maximum output value to my life. This is where I apply the Pareto principle. Since I’ve used this method, I find that I am finally able to complete whatever I have undertaken and that in itself gives me the most satisfaction and thus the most value to my life. I have learnt that saying “No” to certain people or things doesn’t equate me to being an asshole. The good people respect my decision regardless of whether I have provided an explanation for my rejection. Those who respond negatively only proves to show me their lack of character.

This brings me to my next point – the social circle I choose to keep. I have let go of friends who no longer add value to my life. I do not keep friends who do not stand by me in times of hardship when I go to great lengths to be there for them. I no longer hold on to friendships that are already dying and hanging by a thread because we have all grown apart. As an adult, I am much busier now trying to cope with my responsibilities. It leaves me with very little time, energy, thoughts, and emotions for my social circle. Therefore, I choose only the best for me to invest my precious time, energy, thoughts, and emotions on. I choose to have deeper and more meaningful friendships with people who can add light and positivity to my life. Not only that, I choose people who can enrich my mind and my soul – who can teach me new things and motivate me to be a better version of myself. I am too old for drama right now so I avoid the kinds of people who tend to create drama. I also avoid spending too much time on social media – that is one place where so much drama happens. The less time I spend on social media, the more time I have to enrich my life, and the more time I have to actually sit down and meet up with my friends.

I don’t apologise for the choices I choose to make. It might seem selfish. But I honestly do not believe that it is wrong for me to want something better for myself. A better reality for myself in which I am at peace, satisfied and serene. By simplifying my life, I am able to avoid unnecessary drama and focus on the important things in life. I maximise my time and effort on the things that matter so much to me and these are the things that give the most satisfaction to me. At the end of the day, all these worldly things are only temporary. The less I am attached and caught up in it, the better it is for me to focus on the hereafter. Keeping my life simple has made me become a better Muslim and a better human.


Sejak kebelakangan ini, aku sering memikir tentang kematian. Aku rasa aku mula banyak pikiran sejak mendengar berita kematian orang-orang muda – seorang polis trafik yang meninggal dunia pada usia 29 tahun semasa bertugas, dan selepas itu Shea Rasol seorang blogger fesyen dari Malaysia yang meninggal dunia akibat kanser. Macam-macam soalan di dalam otakku:

Macam mana tu rasanya mati?
Macam mana tu rasanya nyawa ditarik?
Macam mana tu rasanya kesakitan kematian?
Sedangkan Rasulullah sendiri takut akan kesakitan kematian and mendoa agar dimudahkan untuk menghadapi sakratul maut.
Sedangkan Rasulullah itu maksum dan itu pun rasa kesakitan itu sangat teruk sampai Rasulullah sendiri tidak mahu ummat baginda merasainya.
Macam mana tu rasanya di dalam kubur?
Menantikan hari dibangkitkan.
Berapa lama tu agaknya harus menunggu?
Sambil menahan siksaan kubur.
Sambil menahan rasa kesal.
Sambil menahan sebak kerana tiada orang boleh membantu.
Seorang je di situ.
Pekik terlolong pun tak guna.
Tak ada orang yang akan dengar.
Tak ada orang yang akan membantu.

Dulu aku pernah kata, aku tak takut apa-apa. Tak ada fobia pada apa-apa.
Sekarang, aku ada satu fobia. Iaitu phobia kematian.
Ye, memang semua orang akan mati. Tetapi, tak sanggup aku nak menahan process kematian, dan apa yang terjadi seterusnya. Aku pernah rasa sakit. Sakit dari segi fizikal. Sampai sekarang aku masih ingat sakit macam mana. Ya Allah, tak sanggup aku hidup menderita.

Aku takut. Really, honestly, betul-betul aku cakap. Aku takut. Takut mati.

The thought of going through pain on my own, all alone, worries me. Scares me.

Sebab tu aku cuba nak berubah dan menjadi insan yang baik. Aku sangat heran akan orang yang kata mereka takut mati tapi hidup macam dia tak takut mati.

Takpelah. Aku utamakan diriku dulu. Betulkan diriku. Buat yang terbaik untuk diriku. Untuk hidupku dan untuk matiku.

Today I lost the ability to feel anger.

It was a very interesting morning today. I don’t know if this is what’s called hikmah bulan Ramadhan but I found that I some how lost my rage. Read that, not lost temper. But lost rage. Like it disappered and I lost all ability to feel angry.

This morning when I took the bus to work , the person sitting next to me was occupying my seat with her bag and I had 3/4 of my ass on the seat. I’d usually feel a burning rage inside me but today, nope. Wanted to feel angry but nope. Tried to call on the rage, but nope rage wasn’t in. It was definitely an interesting experience – not being able to feel angry. Sure the brain interprets it as a situation where I deserved to be angry about but that feeling some how no longer exists.

Even when after I alighted the bus and saw the same bus number behind was almost empty, I wanted to feel angry but the feeling didn’t come. I am not sure what I experienced this morning, but it feels good. Because being angry takes a lot out of me. Being angry leaves me feeling tired and upset after that. Not being able to feel anger makes it much easier to just live and let live.

I hope this feeling continues, and if true it is due to my puasa and bulan Ramadhan yang penuh hikmah ini, then God I wish every day was Ramadhan. Bahagia wei. That feeling of inner peace that I had longed for – it’s finally here and it’s surprisingly really good.

Cryptic Cosmetics Lip Veil.

Vegan Cruelty-Free Paraben-Free Lip Veil (read: Liquid Lipstick)

I wouldn’t have found out about this brand if it had not gone viral on FB. I saw an article that featured this brand and its lip veils. I looked through the colours that was in its range and I was hooked. When I went on the website to see more stuff, I was disappointed to see that so much was out of stock. Typical Singaporean logic: if sold out = must be good right?

So I waited out for a while after before I went back on the site. Lo and behold, the lip veils were restocked and guess what? There was a sale going on. Ape lagiii I went to buy lah! There was a quantity limit though – 2 quantity per item per person. So no choice, I got 2 of the colours that I wanted to try.

Shipment was great! Tracking was so on point. I thought I was gonna have a courier knock on my door so I stupidly waited the whole day. Only later I realised that the tracking number showed that the product had already been delivered and the next day I checked my letter box to find it sitting beautifully there.

The packaging was just gorgeous. Right from the simple black box down to the lip veil bottle itself.


A little dent in the box, but hey it survived the flight from US all the way to SG.


Beauty for the Obscure, indeed. Much underground, this is.


2 Qty ea of 2 Shades


I bought 2 shades one is Tortured Soul and the other is Gore Couture.

I picked the former because it had a purplish hue and I was looking for something purple that was dark and greyish. So I decided to give this one a try.


As for Gore Couture, it looked more pinkish. It was apparently a fan favourite so I got to give it a try as well.


When I unboxed it, it reminded me of Kat Von D and Huda Beauty. The embossed rose on the cap was just similar to the KVD one that I had – not complaining though because I looove that design. Such understated elegance. And the frosted glass looked reminded me of the HB range.


What shocked me though… was its size. It was really small. Like those mini lippies. I didn’t check its volume before purchasing them and that was when the regret started kicking in. I told myself not to get pissed off and to give them a go to see how well they work. For the price that I had to pay per ml for this lip veil, damn it better be good.


Top: Tortured Soul; Bottom: Gore Couture

First thing that got me when I opened the cap, was the smell. Oooohhhh damn it was delicious. It smelled like chocolate to me. Sooo delicious. It was like putting on chocolate on my lips. The doe-foot applicator was pretty sharp at the edges, and soft like the KVD one so it was really good to swatch it over the lips especially at the corners and to make a sharp V at the Cupid’s Bow. Because the bottle was smaller, the applicator was shorter as well and that helps in controlling the applicator wand when applying the lip veil. I tried on Tortured Soul first. It was very well pigmented – I could overdraw my lips without having to draw on with a lip pencil. I was kind of disappointed though that the Tortured Soul colour did not look purple on my lips at all and ended up looking just brown. I guess it would only look good on very fair people. Sigh, the problem about lipstick. I realise it always looks different in pictures and in real life because pictures always feature fair skinned people, or very dark skinned people but very few show the shades in between those two.


Nope, no purple. Just… brown.

A few days later, I put on Gore Couture and wore it to work as a test to see how long it can last. Which turned out to be not very long. I bought breakfast on the way to work. It was during that time that I felt that the lipstick was starting to feel dry on my lips. When I reached the office and started on my breakfast, all hell broke loose. The lipstick transferred to my custard brioche, to my fork, and to my cup. What made it worse was that the lipstick fell off in tiny flakes which then also fell onto my office desk. So when I wiped the flakes off the table, there were streaks of red on my table. It was such a disaster. And a major disappointment too! What’s the point of wearing a lipstick that doesn’t last? And an expensive one at that.

The aftermath of it was worse. This was how my lips looked like after eating (picture below). A whole chuck of lipstick got transferred. And what’s left, smudged around my lips. I looked like someone punched me in the mouth. It was such a hot mess. I was so pissed off with the flakey bits falling off my face and dropping everywhere – messing up my desk. I paid so much for this? Disappointing. On the plus side though, it was easy to remove. I was so pissed off with the mess on my face so I took a regular wet wipes (not even the make up removal kind) and wiped the damn thing off my face. It came off so easily.


Wtf is this sia, srsly.

Verdict? A NO-NO. Bought it to try it. And regretted it. Not value for money. I could spend my money on better brands like KVD. I would say it would be great only if you are fasting so you don’t eat and mess up your lippie, yet still easily removable for you to take wudhuk and perform your solat. It would work for Ramadhan then. Lol.

Customer Service.

The past week there was a hoo-ha over Pink Apron Lab. In case you’ve missed it, you can hop over to this link and read all about it.

So when I heard about this incident, I was reminded of the many previous experiences that I had with buying a service or a product from non-established sources on social media sites – some good, and some bad. But of course, I tend to remember the bad ones because they never seem to learn. This whole Pink Apron Lab hullabaloo came at a time when the United Airlines fracas was still very fresh in everyone’s mind. What is it about some people who never seem to get the concept of customer service? And what is it about some people who just cannot learn from other people’s mistakes?

As someone who works in the line of customer support, I believe that I am qualified to give comments and tips on how customer service can be better managed. All these debacles could have been avoided if the person providing the service/product had taken the right steps and attitude towards their client/customer. Yes, I understand that some customers can be very unruly and unreasonable. But, there are many ways to handle such customers in an amicable manner. I always believe that we cannot control how the other party behaves, but we can control how we react to it.

Imagine you are looking at a bird. You are very sure that it is a bird. Your customer, on the other hand, sees a frog. If you spend time trying to tell your customer that what both of you are seeing is a bird, you will only achieve in pissing off your customer who can only see a frog. Put yourself in your customers’ shoes. They would be just as frustrated that you cannot see what they see. At this point, what you should be doing is telling your customer that both of you agree that what both of you are looking at is an animal, and then the conversation can move forward.


This is what your customer sees – imagine how frustrating it is for your customer.

Always try to meet your customer in the centre. Service is like a handshake. Your customer has offered his/her hand. So you do your job to receive that hand, and don’t leave your customer hanging. No matter how right you think you are, at times some things just aren’t worth the trouble fighting like crazy. Remember that you need your customers – for without them, you would not be where you are. If you have made a mistake with your customers, don’t keep digging your own grave. Apologise, and offer a recourse. You appease your customer in that way. Even if your customer chooses not to buy your product/service any more, at least you did the right thing – it is only their decision not to go back to you but your reputation still stays pretty intact because your customer remembers that you were sincere in your apology.

Although I mostly write about product reviews in this blog, I think now onwards I should also include a category/tag for customer service. Because it seems that so many people out there are all jumping on the “be my own boss” bandwagon but haven’t a clue how to do it. One cannot just simply want to start a business and look forward to all the monetary gains from it, but one must always remember that the customer base needs to be well-taken care of. There’s not just sales, but there must also be after-sales support. There are bound to be problems or feedback when your customers buy from you. It is how you manage them and keep them happy that keeps them coming back for more and bringing along more customers for you through their recommendations. I have said this time and time again, that business is not for everyone. Before starting a business, even if it is a side business, ask yourself if you can handle customer service. Customer relations is what keeps your business sustainable – having a good product/service or building a solid branding isn’t sufficient to stay afloat. How you respond to your customers can greatly affect sales. There are people out there who are like me – people who only buy when the service is good. e.g. Personally, I don’t really like Starbucks coffee but I go there pretty often because the staff are always very friendly and they always cater to the nonsensical things that I ask them to do.

It bothers me so much that people can be so clueless about basic things like these. And then there are those people who know the basics in theory, but do not apply what they’ve learnt. Through my interactions with the people I meet, I have come to realise that when it comes to knowledge and skills, they are only best learnt through case studies and step-by-step explanation on what to do and what not to do. Therefore, news like the United Airlines mishandling manhandling of passengers, and Pink Apron Lab’s disrespectful response to customer feedback, make good case studies for us to learn from. Why learn from your own mistakes when you can learn from the mistakes of others, right?

P.S. I do not condone public shaming, but if some people are really asking for it then carry on. Haha!


If you’re selling a product/service, don’t be a cunt.